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In an attempt to focus my content to incoming searches, I have created a manner in which to “Find a Person Buried at Oakland Cemeteries.” I thought this was an odd way to come across my website, but I am doing my part to help people that find my site in t
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Trent Reznor and Saul Williams Discuss Their New Collaboration, Mourn OiNK — Vulture — EntertainmentInteresting sounding collaboration between Trent Reznor and Saul Williams… I may DL it and take a look-see.
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I love these Common Craft videos… and this one in particular explains something somewhat technical in a simple damned manner. I should send this to my mom…
Monthly Archive for October, 2007
An individual searching for the query “Finding a Person Buried at Oakland Cemetery” came across this website as a possibility for an answer. I find it odd that my site would be high enough to be clicked for a web search on those words… but obviously it is.
Unfortunately for this queryist (this word is said to be misspelled, but, I assure you, it is not), this website did not have the solution to body-finding in cemeteries in Oakland. I am sorry to disappoint.
I am attempting to assist future web-travelers to find the content for which the original queryist was searching if another person were to use the same words. Unfortunately, this help is added after the original search occurred – I have dubbed this Reverse Search Optimization or Post-SEO for short. This assistance is less relevant as the original search was specific and is after I have already failed the first searcher, but I want to help.
Although this site does not have (or need) an explicit explanation, nor do I care to make a detailed entry to cater to the fringe desire to find those that are buried, I will endeavor to outline a methodology to employ to find a person buried in a cemetery in Oakland, or any other city for that matter (except for the cemetery in this picture, which has no names, so you could then just choose the first grave and pretend).

each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds, originally uploaded by Kalense Kid.
In order to find a person buried in a cemetery, follow these simple steps:
- Call your local cemetery and see if they have any records showing the whereabouts of those buried in its premises. If they do, congrats! If not, go to step 2…
- Ask people that knew the deceased in life (friends and relatives) if they know where the person in question is buried. It is likely those people are also dead, so you might ask their children or the friends of the children. Oral family histories can be an excellent manner of finding the whereabouts of corpses. If this helps… please thank me with a comment or pass this along to a friend, if this is not a help and/or offends, go to step 3…
- If this person is famous or notable in some way, look into books written about the individuals and/or biographers. If the person is famous enough to have Ph.D candidates/recipients that follow their life, you are likely to have found a well-educated stalker of the dead that could direct you to their body (trust me, they will know where it is or have a reasonable estimate). If you are lucky enough to have found an individual to assist with your quest, kudos (just watch your back in the future). If not, you have to move on to step #4, which is a pain in the ass..
- You should start step 4 by obtaining a map of the cemetery grounds and/or creating one for yourself. You will need to systematically visit each individual grave and ensure that you have visited and properly accounted for each name. If the cemetery is divided into sections based upon time periods, it may help to create a beginning point based upon the date of the person’s death (you could obtain this date through public records such as death certificates, but I am not going to assist with finding those…). Unfortunately, areas in cemeteries are based far more upon when a burial plot was purchased than when someone is buried, so a systematic sweep will probably be the net result anyways. If the person is in the cemetery, a systematic sweep should find the grave. If not, go to step 5…
- If you have not found the grave after the first 4 steps, you are in all likelihood fucked. You should just find a grave without a name or a plot without a headstone and pretend that you found the person for whom you were searching… it isn’t like they will know, and it is always possible that it is the right grave.
I hope that this fabricated-on-the-fly guide was helpful. Good Luck and Godspeed…
Since my dog had some sort of indeterminate pain thing going on today, I brought her to the vet this morning and am monitoring her as I telecommute…

Multi-Tasking 2.0, originally uploaded by pressuretobear.
The best/worst thing about telecommuting is not being physically at work; sometimes this can increase productivity, and other times it works against you. Since I left my files at work (expecting to go in), this process is not as productive as possible today.
Another thing, having two mice and keyboards on a single keyboard can be confusing.
From this picture, I can tell that cleaning my desk could be considered a job responsibility to increase productivity…
I noticed today that this will be my 37th post for the month. My silent goal was to post an article a day, and I have already exceeded this hallmark. That said, I know that at least 5-10 of these posts are Del.icio.us daily link posts, but this is still far closer than I expected to my goal.
The one downside to posting more often is that I am writing only to myself and spam bloggers that scrape sites for advertising purposes… I have even left some of their comments in the posts to make myself feel better.
I don’t want to whore myself out, I would like organic growth of like-minded individuals, simultaneously, it may be time to send links to people I know or admire in order to at least have a few people give me feedback. Perhaps some well thought-out feature/tutorials that I have had for a while might be in order… (FAQ for web readability, maybe some foolish tutorial to make some simple graphics, use some complicate program with which I am familiar or Excel tips for the web savvy but data fearful).
I have thought of making posts based on incoming web queries that make no sense… I always find these queries hilarious. It would be somewhat like backwards SEO – posting based on what is already coming in without ads…
We shall see… tomorrow is another day.
Postscript and/or an aside: I used the WordPress Automatic Upgrade plugin, and it made the upgrade process (the one I said I would not do two days earlier) quick, painless and made my site like 5+ times faster (probably due to cleaning the database). I would recommend this to anyone using WordPress; it just works and works fast.
(0)Woo Boy! I had no idea how awesome the upgrade advisor for WordPress was until I saw this on my screen… Actually, as I am in my “writing” screen, I can see that it is on every sheet of my dashboard:

WordPress, thanks for telling me there is an upgrade, but I know that there is one.
I am subscribed to the RSS feed for WordPress.org, I read this in the dashboard for “WordPress News,” and I saw this in various other places. I know that there is an upgrade. That being said, I am not going to upgrade right now, and I wish it only told me once dammit…



